Waking the Walker

A mother's quest to survive her son's "zombie" years – aka his teens.

Tag: dreams

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Seneca


As one year draws to a close and a new one beckons on the horizon, thinking about wiping the slate clean and starting fresh is an invigorating thing, regardless of what you experienced the previous year.

For my Son and I, 2018 was a year full of a flurry of activity and major change. My Son graduated from high school and headed off to college, leaving me an empty nester.

College

Needless to say this has been a huge adjustment for both us. BUT, now that we are 4 months into it, I can say we are both holding our own.

It was a bit shaky for me the first month or two. Coming home to an empty house, and eating dinner alone being the most difficult adjustments. With time however, it became the new norm, which makes both my Son and I truly appreciate meals together when he’s home on breaks.

So, as a new year approaches, and our new status established, my Son a college student, and me an empty nester, I can officially sign off on “surviving my Son’s zombie years, AKA his teens.”  

With that said, the time has come to bid farewell to my dear friend “Waking the Walker”

https://wakingthewalker.wordpress.com/twd-apocalyptic-parenting-tactics/

WTW-twitter

My first blog post was January 29, 2014 and since then, this blog has not just documented the highs and lows of the past four years, but become the anchor that kept me grounded, and helped bring my Son and I closer.

In addition, it aided me in navigating some very challenging times. By writing about whatever was testing me, I was able to find a way to resolve the issue.

It will not be easy to let go of “Waking the Walker” just as it was not easy to see my Son head off to college, but it is the healthy thing to do. I know it is time for me to focus on rediscovering who I am beyond being a Mom.

In meditating on all this, a line from the song “Closing Time” by Semisonic came to mind: “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Seneca

Perseverence

This song came out in the late nineties, during the time when I had left my husband and was on a quest to rediscover myself post a suffocating marriage. It was also during this time I met my Son’s father, which in turn lead to me becoming a Mom.

Is it irony or coincidence that this song came to mind as I meditate on once again forging off on a new journey of rediscovery?

Or is it just the universe reminding me that the last time I stepped into this zone the most amazing and wonderful thing occurred. I met the love of my life and became a Mom.

Being a Mom was something I had all but given up on at that time, so it goes without saying that I threw myself in 200%. The center of my universe was and always will be my Son, but I do know he needs to forge his own path, without Mom right by his side. As do I.

Where this new adventure will take me is yet to be seen. Who I am now is very different from who I was back in the nineties before I became a Mom, so this quest of rediscovery will most certainly be different.

Not to say that I’m older and wiser, but I have experienced a lot these past twenty-some years since then, and it is those experiences that will shape and mold my new journey of rediscovery.

Flying Solo

If there is one thing though that I can take from my previous sojourn, it is to “let go and let God.” By allowing things to transpire in God’s time, not our time, we allow the universe to step in and work it’s magic.

So, as my Son and I bid adieu to 2018, and usher in 2019, we will look to the New Year with wide-eyed optimism. Acknowledging that although we are now both on our own adventure, we are still partners in the great adventure called life.

I do hope that some of you who have been regular “Waking the Walker” readers will continue to follow me into my next sojourn. I will post one final post in January of 2019 with the official link to my new blog “Waking the Woman” – a mother’s quest to rediscover herself after her Son leaves for college.

Until then, I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. 

Sunrise

© Mariann E. Danko and Waking the Walker, 2018. All rights reserved.

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At a Crossroads Without a Compass


In 1995, at the age of 34, I walked out of a dead-end marriage. I was beyond stressed, not just about my marriage, but work too.

Anyone who has ever worked in advertising or marketing can relate to the ridiculous levels of stress one can experience in this world. In the beginning it was exciting, but one can only take all that BS for so long, and I had been at for 15 years.

I felt trapped at work and home. I felt like there was no way out.

Dead End Sign Maze No Way Out Danger Warning 3d Illustration

It was a co-worker who encouraged me to just set a date, and leave my husband. At first I thought the idea was nuts.

How do you just do that?

The worse things got though, the more it made sense. 

I knew I could only tackle one life-sucking situation at a time. Leaving my husband was a lot easier than figuring out what to do about my job, especially because the stress of the two made me brain-dead.

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PERSEVERANCE


When the student becomes the teacher, it is time to pause and take note as to how far one has come. On a recent Sunday night, this is precisely what happened in my household.

Chris Hardwick - Talking Dead _ Season 5 - Photo Credit: Jordin Althaus/AMC

Chris Hardwick – Talking Dead _ Season 5 – Photo Credit: Jordin Althaus/AMC

On the evening in question, the “Talking Dead” revealed the winner of their Ultimate Walking Dead Fan Competition. The coveted price for this contest was a seat on the couch next to the TWD guests of the week. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Talking Dead, this is a TWD after-show, where host Chris Hardwick and guests discuss that week’s episode of “The Walking Dead.” The guests generally include 2 actors and/or producers from the show and a non-show related celebrity that is a TWD follower.

I’m sure by now you can guess that I entered this contest, why else would the announcement of the winner have any impact on me. The main requirement for the contest was that you had to have a passion for The Walking Dead, know the show inside and out, and have an energetic personality.

To enter the contest you had to submit a 30 second video stating why you are the ultimate fan. Using this blog as my grounds to be the ultimate TWD fan, I created a video, ending with a poster size image of the t-shirt that was created to promote the blog.

WTW_TShirt_Final

I sent the video off with hope in my heart that maybe just maybe this could be the break I needed to help get more traffic to my blog, which in turn would help when pitching the blog to agents and publishers. The next day, much to my surprise, I received a request to complete release forms allowing the producers the right to air the video on national TV and post on their website, where viewers could vote for their favorite.

The e-mail stated “Based on your video, we might be interested in potentially featuring you on our show.” Plus “If you’re interested, please send us your phone number, address, and any of your social media handles (i.e. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook…)” Why they needed social media handles I wasn’t sure, but I felt that it was a positive sign, and regardless as to what happened with the competition, meant the producers may actually check out my blog and writer’ Facebook page.

Rainbow in clouds

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