Waking the Walker

A mother's quest to survive her son's "zombie" years – aka his teens.

Tag: Carl

The Monster Within


Recently I had a major meltdown. The yelling, throwing things, mad at the world, feeling sorry for myself kind. The kind I’m embarrassed to admit I had the day after. The kind I try hard to control, but, when the circumstances are right, like I’m stressed from the day-to-day and over-extending myself, can get the better of me, and I blow. Fortunately, the bulk of this one hit after my son was in bed and no one else was in the house. I could have buried it and pretended it didn’t happen, but I knew better. When everything builds up and pushes me over the edge, I have to face it head on. Especially when my son witnessed the beginning of the meltdown and was stunned because it came out of left field. He even said “What happened? You were fine a minute ago.” What kind of example am I setting? How can I discuss self-control with him, when I’m not exhibiting it myself?

The Monster Within

The Monster Within

I have outbursts here and there. Usually brought on by my son’s extraordinary button-pushing, but this wasn’t that at all. Those are quick and they don’t linger like this one did. This was something deeper taking over. To be honest it scared me.

The morning after the meltdown, my son told me he was genuinely concerned. He too knew this wasn’t the norm for Mom. I told him I felt like Rick from “The Walking Dead” just before he ripped Joe’s throat out with his teeth and although this actually helped to get my son out of bed faster that morning, I knew that wasn’t good. I knew the monster inside was winning and I had to get a grip. Read the rest of this entry »

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Moral Compass


“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Don’t you wish all of humanity lived by this Golden Rule? I know I do. It would certainly help when raising children. No matter how much you drum this into your child’s head and work hard at setting an example of Imageliving by this rule, as our children age, they begin to see for themselves how much of humanity does not abide by the Golden Rule.

First, they may experience the bully on the playground, bus or cafeteria. I know my son has endured some not-so-nice schoolmates (this is being polite) over the years and has even encountered, at a very young age, some adults in the school system who were not appreciative of his unique personality and speedy mental processing center. I’m convinced that this was what triggered the beginning of his self-esteem troubles. No matter how much encouragement I gave him, some of the adults at the school tore it down. Thankfully, we left that school and moved into a district that has a genuine compassion for and real understanding of the gifted mind. Not that there haven’t been struggles, each year has brought a new level of challenges, (I can hardly wait to see what high school brings.) but my son now knows his teachers support and believe in him, they aren’t picking on him, they’re encouraging him. (Although sometimes he feels like they are picking when they push him to perform on the level they know he’s capable of. I’m grateful for this because he’s tired of hearing it from me. I’m just a nag. Sorry, meandering again.) Read the rest of this entry »

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